The Spiritual Practice of Women

I wrote this for myself, but wanted to share if you are interested in topics like this.

When I engage in my religion, God is presented as my Father. The priesthood that leads the church is run by men. The scriptures are full of stores of men, and even the core of my religion, Jesus Christ, is male. I have a patriarchal religion. And as a women, I sometimes wonder where I fit.

In Genesis 1:27, it reads “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” From the very beginning, God is presented as both male and female. Where is the female in my religion?

In the scriptures, female appears in several ways. They are present as mothers, such as Mary the mother of Jesus. Virtues are inscribed female pronouns. The church is often referred to as female: a bride for the bridegroom who is Jesus Christ. Several times women are given direct instruction and mentioned.

Mothers

  • Mary (Luke 1:27-55)
  • Hannah (1 Samuel 1-2:11)
  • Elisabeth (Luke 1)
  • Sariah (1 Nephi 5: 1-9)
  • Eve (Gen 2:21-25, Moses 4-5)
  • Sarah (Gen 18:9-15)

Virtues

  • Proverbs 1:20–33, Proverbs 8-9
  • 1 Corinthians 13

Christ and His Church

  • Matthew 25:1-13
  • Revelations 21-22
  • Ephesians 5:22-33

Reference to Women

  • Proverbs 31:10-31
  • D&C 25
  • Women Prophetess
    • Miriam (Exodus 15:20)
    • Deborah (Judges 4:4)
    • Huldah (2 Kings 22:14; 2 Chron 34:22)
    • Noadiah (Neh 6:14)
    • “The prophetess” (Isaiah 8:3)
    • Anna (Luke 2:28, Acts 1:14; 2:17).

Prominence

There are other scriptures that help clarify the importance of women. Jesus teaches how he that serves is greater than he that leads, and the last will be first. (Luke 9: 46-48, Matthew 18:1-5, Mark 9: 33-37.) In the eternal scheme of things, outward prominence matters far less than humble service. Jesus talks of serving, of feeding the hungry, caring for those that mourn, and more. (Matthew 5: 34-40) I cling to this when I find myself, in my role as a women, having less opportunities, and having to sacrifice to take care of children, home, and other responsibilities. My role as a nurturer, female, women, means that my outward prominence is less, yet Jesus discuss how the humble service I give can be more desirable than prominence.

The Lord does not see power and authority as the ultimate aim. Sometimes it seems women are missing out because they do not have as many opportunities for leadership, especially if they prioritize their families. But leadership is less important than other more important aims. God desires us to care for others, and he looks at our heart (1 Samuel 16:7, Romans 2:11-1) not our prominence.

Complimentary Roles

To look at the roles of male and female, looking at the family gives the first blueprint. Men and women and fathers and mothers. Fathers provide, and are built for work and protection. Mothers provide the nurturing of children, as they can bear and nurse children. They are both needed to create children, and they function together, as equals, where one is not needed any less than the other. (1 Cor 11:11)

The church and Christ also perform complimentary roles. The church prepares, nurtures, and provides what is necessary to come unto Christ and stay in His fold (Mosiah 18:17, 26:21-22). Christ sanctifies and redeems us, acting as our mediator (Alma 11:40, 2 Nephi 2:27-28, Hebrews 10:9-10, Isaiah 60:16).

Matriarchy

So what is a matriarchal religion? It is not simply coping a patriarchal religion with women at the head instead of men. Just as motherhood is different than fatherhood, priestesshood is different that’s preisthood.

Patriarchal spirituality is focused on scriptures, public prayer, priesthood ordinances, preaching, proselytizing, and leadership. It is organized religion.

But a matriarchal spirituality is different, and broader, a way to nurture every individual in their own way. It includes caring for others, the care our world provides for us, beauty, and meditation. Most of these things are internally experienced. The focus of matriarchal spirituality is not to gain knowledge through written words, external instruction, but by listening and connecting with your heart. It’s feelings not words.

Both are needed. We need a loving Heavenly Father to pray to, to have the structure of ordinances and commandments. We need the mercy of a Savior. And we need the nurturing arm of Mother to care for us: through the wonders of this earth, the feelings of our hearts, and to help us have love and joy.

Experiencing Increased Spirituality

With a focus on matriarchal spirituality, we can increase our spiritual practices to include more than what is traditionally offered at church. Here are some ideas of spiritual practices:

  • Nurture and Care
    • Motherhood, homemaking, caring for children
    • Service, connection with others, listening, offering relief
  • Nature
    • Connection, appreciation, and caring for the natural world
    • Gardening, spend time outdoors, adventures
  • Beauty
    • Appreciating beautiful things
    • Creativity, art
    • Music, dancing
  • Meditation
    • Solitude, peace, listening, reflection
    • Meaningful rituals, movement, energy flows

In the ideal family, there is both a devoted mother and father. In ideal spiritual practices, there are elements of organized religion, and the more personal and nurturing practices I’ve discussed here. In my own spiritual practices as a women, I find much strength from enjoying nature, helping others, and engaging in a personal way, ways that are not necessarily part of a organized religion, but just as important to my spiritual strength.

Vacation Season

On our first trip, we went up to Bear Lake and stayed in a big house with Joe’s family. We mostly hung out in the house (that was cool) and visited North Beach at Bear Lake. My children loved it, I think because they got to spend hours playing video games.

We also stopped by Bridgerland Adventures for tubing, Hobbit Falls where Joe was adjusting a rope that sent me into the stream while holding Evie (we were wet, but not harmed in the slightest), and Limber Pine Trail. There were beautiful wildflowers everywhere, and it was a great trip.

The second trip was four nights of camping. It was not without misadventure, including some physical challenges, and arguing, but tempered with beautiful scenery, and a good time with the family. One method I used to plan the trip was just looking around the driving route on Google Maps for places that sounded interesting. I found two waterfalls that way that were amazing, Faux Falls and Adrelanine Falls.

On our first day we stopped by Arches and hiked Sand Dune Arch. That’s all we did there because it was hot. We next stopped by Faux Falls and climbed around the waterfalls. We ended the day camping at Warner Lake.

The next day, our car started to misfire and the check engine light went on. In that circumstance, we were really blessed. We just kept traveling and pulled up to the small town of Monticello. There was a small repair shop that was able to get our car right in, the parts were in stock, and we were back on the road in a couple hours for a reasonable price. While the car was being fixed, we went to a small museum and mostly hung out at the library playing on the computers. The kids had a grand time. The rest of the day was just too hot. We stopped by Fort Bluff, which was cool but hot, and Hovenweep, which was too hot (in the 100’s) to do anything. The best part of the day was waiting in the library for the car to be fixed.

We camped a couple of nights in Mesa Verde. We did the Cliff Palace Tour first at 9:00. It was awesome to be the first group through the site, and I would recommend it. We explored the area around until 3 where we ended the day with a tour through Balcony House.

The next day we drove to Ouray, and on the way stopped by Adrelanie Falls where the majority of us jumped in the water. It was great. We visited Box Falls and Cascade Fall in Ouray and camped at the Ridgway State Park. Where we ran out of bug spray and everyone got covered in mosquito bites.

Home, with a quick stop at the Black Canyon National Park.

Heat

The pretty mild spring has given way to long days of dry heat. The kids have mostly finished summer camps, and we will soon be into a July full of vacations. We’ve been to the Zoo, and more than 10 parks this summer too.

Last week, we had a good week celebrating Little Miss Chub’s first birthday and the 4th of July. We saw a lot of family and had some great adventures. We woke up early for the hot air balloon festival and enjoyed a parade. And we’ve been spending a lot of time at the pool.

Also, here is my nature play hill that is close to done now. It’s been so much work that I’ve piled onto my dad and husband, and I’m so grateful that they trusted me enough to put the work in.

Summer Adventures

Summer is an awesome busy time.

We went to the aviary, and the kids got to actively participate.

The kids have been doing summer camps: Clear Creek, Space Center for Curtis, FSY, basketball for Peter, and a drama/swim camp for Henry.

Joe went with Peter to boy’s camp.

We’ve also been to the Natural History Museum, BYU museums, and parks, watched a parade, and swam at the pool.

We spent last Saturday with my sister’s family at the pond, where we canoed, biked/scootered, and did other mischiefs like losing kids, tangling fishing lines, and finding dried-up waterfalls. I took one picture at the very beginning and then forgot to take any more. Such is life.

There’s also been a ton of work in the yard. We’ve been putting in sod, building a nature play area, and finishing the deck.

Amidst all the busyness it’s nice to remember that what gets done doesn’t necessarily matter as much as having a life that reflects my values. I’ve been thinking about my life and what is important. I have a lifetime to develop a career, to pursue my own interests. But right now I only have a few years to raise my children. So that’s where I spend my time and energy.

Summer Begins

Right before summer break, Joe took the kids for a day, and I spent the day working. It was a good experience. I realized that working 8+ hours is way easier than caring for children. Joe had a hard time, but the children did enjoy the extra time with Dad. He took them to the jump park.

Now we are at the start of summer break. So far, I’m enjoying it. It’s not perfect, but I like having all the children around. I have great kids and they are fun to do things with. The weather has been beautiful and we’ve been spending a lot of time outside. There’s time working in the yard, swimming in the pool, and going on walks.

We went on a hike to Vista Ridge, and the trail was full of wildflowers and ended up being a great length for our family.

The next day, I went with a couple of my kids, mom, and sister and walked to a poppy field.

We also had Day Camp that I attended with the boys from my church.

Showing Up

How’s my life going? I am surviving, but also feeling the effects of too much to do for a very long time. Right now, we are trying to get landscaping and construction done, care for five children some of which are very small, and my garden design business has clients and designs to get done.

So there are moments when I just show up. I went to preschool graduation and took one, insignificant photo. Other people posted a heard of lovely pictures on social media. But you know, I was there, supporting my child, and that’s what counts.

Keep Trying

When all of my kids and great-grandpa have the stomach flu, there’s a lot of cleaning and laundry to do. And not much time for sleep. I feel like I’m giving more than I have, and often the cost does not seem worth the reward. But many good things we do have little to no reward. I recently read this scripture in John 14: “But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind,and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” Sometimes good things are only rewarded in eternity.

I keep trying. In a yoga video, there was a version of this quote by Mark Manson:

The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

I’m striving to accept my crazy life, which is never quite as successful or easy as I would like, but still has enough joy and wonder to keep me going. Naps and flowers, and time to be creative help me be okay.

Busy Season

I try to go through pictures about once a week. And lately, I’ve only taken pictures of gardens. But not even my own garden, I’m taking pictures of other people’s gardens that turn into garden designs. It’s busy season for work.

And really, for parenting as well. My children have track, soccer, piano lessons, basketball, and homework projects. We started a fishing club, where this lone, blurry picture comes from. I think this is Curtis’s first fish he caught by himself. Not a bad catch. I think I might buy a fishing license and start casting a line in myself.

Spring Break

Much of our spring break was spent looking at snow. We had a lot of fun, even if the weather wasn’t spring-like. We went up to the Hill Aerospace Museum, visited an arcade, and went swimming. We took days for a little trip and visited a bunch of my siblings and Dinosaur National Monument. Then we had a wonderful time celebrating Easter.

It’s amazing how big my kids are getting. The picture is wrong though: I’m still taller than all of them, but just barely.

Basketball, Birthdays, Play

Well, our kitchen is close to done. And that means more time to work outside. But it’s snowing. This combination of events has resulted in a much-needed break for me. I think I’m getting to the point where I would rather be working than sitting though.

Peter keeps playing basketball. He finished a season, started another league, and just signed up for club ball. I asked him if he wanted to keep playing in another league, and he said something like, “You don’t need to ask me. If it’s basketball, the answer is always yes.”

Curtis had a birthday, and they went to the space center with his cousins for a party. They enjoyed themselves, although next time positions need to be changed.

The yard is dirt, but never discount the play value of dirt. And a bonus picture of Evie clapping with all her new teeth.