I had a hard time the last two times I had babies. My emotions were not always under control, and both PB and C weren’t exactly happy to be babies. I wanted to have another child for lots of reasons, but one of them was so that I could actually enjoy being a mother to a baby, and feel like I was decent at it.

My experience of being a mom to baby H has been nearly everything I wanted. I adore being a mom to him, and I get lot of big baby smiles. I remember in the hopstial when I first had him, I was content to just sit and enjoy him for hours. Although I have to do get things done now, the attitude is still there. I do a lot of attachment parenting–co-sleeping, and baby wearing–because I just like having him around. (It is also because it just makes life easier too.) Our relationship isn’t perfect (like the one night he about killed me and wouldn’t calm down and go to sleep all the way until midnight), but it is pretty good. And I’m very grateful for it.