I was reading  You Grow Girl by Gayla Trail. I didn’t check it out to read, just had stumbled upon her website earlier and wanted to see what the book was about. But I did start reading and started to think about my own experiences as a gardener.

I went to school in horticulture thinking I loved to garden. I still do. But I’m not necessarily jumping at the opportunity to do so. My own garden domain is my patio garden. It’s not that fancy, and I could do quite a bit more out there. Lately I’ve been thinking about all these other places I could garden. I live in a suburb–many people have offered me a spot of ground–and I’ve done nothing.

At first, I thought I’m just lazy, or at least want to avoid piling one more thing on my already full days. Also, no matter how cheaply it’s done gardening cost money I would rather spend elsewhere (like food, clothing, gas, and avoiding debt). I have no time, no money….but still I think there is a bigger reason behind it. I am still trying to define myself.

I’ve finished school, established my family and a place in this world, but I’ve done it in a lot less years than most. I’m young. I’m still figuring out what I want to get out of life and being a gardener. My mind is no more set on things than a seedling realizes what flower it will produce. I feel like I still need more learning, reflecting, trial and error. My education is far from over: I yearn to learn more, to grow more.

Someday I’ll be able to define just what I want. Right now, I spend my time learning as much as doing. I think the learning will gradually turn into more doing, more firm opinions, and more gardening. For the moment I am content with the little I do, and the lots of knowledge I’m trying to gain. I have a lifetime in front of met to achieve anything I want.