Overwhelm Them with Love
I have wild boys. At times they wrestle each other too harshly, they hurt each other when they don’t get their way, model reverence is a distant goal, words they aren’t supposed to say are often used, and bedtime can push both parents to a near breaking point.
I’ve thought a lot, I’ve read a lot a lot of discipline. I have tried new tactics occasionally, regressed to old and less than wonderful tactics like yelling. More than anything though, one experience and phrase has stuck with me to guide my efforts.
I was praying to God, asking for help with my children. And I felt this overwhelming love from Him, as I often do when I reach out toward Him. Every time I have asked for help, testimony, or anything else the answer comes at first as a feeling of love. This time as I was basking in His love, I thought the phrase, “Overwhelm them with love.”
“Overwhelm them with love” was my answer for all the discipline with my children. Too often in the past I have turned to anger instead of love and gotten nowhere. But turning to love instead always works.
So today, when my two children decided to engage in a loud physical fight right in the middle of church, I took them out into a room by ourselves. I told them firmly that they were in trouble and that was not acceptable behavior. My oldest was very upset about getting into trouble and cried and complained loudly for a while. I let him. And then when he started to calm himself down, I went up and put my arm around him and told him I love him, and listened to him.
My child needed to be told what he was doing wasn’t acceptable. But he also need someone to listen to him and know that he was loved no matter what. He needed someone to patiently and calmly help him through his emotions so he would be able act more appropriately.
Love accomplishes more than any other act of discipline. It isn’t my first train of thought when the kids are acting up to overwhelm them with love. But it is always the best course of action.
Why I Love Having Chickens
I always wanted chickens, they just seemed like a useful pet. I haven’t been disappointed either. I recently read an article about food waste, and didn’t feel guilty in the slightest. We’ve basically eliminated all our food waste by having chickens. I keep a bucket in my kitchen for all the food scraps. If we don’t eat it, the chickens usually do. We even gave them the mouse that we trapped after it came in our house. In return the chickens give us the obvious eggs. But they also process compost, adding fertility with their manure, and do a great job of weeding and prepping soil.
We have seven chickens. Three are currently in full production, and the other four are just starting. They will lay anywhere from 2-5 eggs a day right now. We still occasionally have to buy store bought eggs to keep up with how much we eat. but I don’t like to. Regular eggs at the store are not expensive. If I were do do a purely economical analysis, I doubt the eggs I get from my chickens would be cheaper. So why do I like my own eggs better? I find a lot of satisfaction in getting fresh eggs from chickens I’ve raises, and know I’m not dependent on the grocery store. More importantly, the eggs are different. I don’t notice a huge difference in taste, but store bought eggs look sickly compared to the eggs from my pastured chickens. Here’s an example:
I was frying eggs and used a few from the store and a few from our own chickens. The ones from our chickens (if you didn’t guess) have orange yolks. The deeper color comes from a more varied diet that includes our table scraps, bugs, and greens in the field. The varied diet is transforming into better nutrition in my eggs. I don’t think of egg yolks as yellow anymore: they are properly orange.
Fall Festivities
We’ve had such a warm, fun fall this year. I’m still harvesting tomatoes (I’m actually tired of tomatoes though), and the weather is almost always perfect to go outside and play.
Decorating Halloween cookies at a friends house. They were quickly consumed after the picture.
Learning about spiders during school. I talked about how they used their web to catch and eat insects, using plastic insects.
The following pictures were from a trip to a pumpkin patch at a nursery down in Layton. It was a lot of waiting, but the pumpkins were large and free.
You got a bonus picture with baby in it too. (I’m usually the one taking pictures, so I don’t often get pictures of myself.) I’m anywhere from 5-8 weeks from having him, and we are all pretty excited.
A Discussion on Gifts
It’s still October, but Christmas trees are popping up and the season of buying massive amounts of gifts begins. I look forward to finding fun new toys and games from my children and family…but sometimes the amount of presents that seems required for others becomes a bit overwhelming.
At certain times in life, many of us become wealthy enough that if we really want or need something we go out and buy it for ourselves. After years of school, I feel I have reached this stage in my life. Previously, I often had a list handy for people of things that I would appreciate or needed for an upcoming birthday or Christmas. Now, my list of things I want that I haven’t bought are generally pretty expensive and not something that actually makes a good present.
But presents are still expected. So I get a range of presents that include the useful but impersonal gift card, gifts that I know will eventually end up at the thrift store or get dusty on a shelf, and only occasionally something that actually is meaningful and appreciated. It isn’t the gift givers fault—it is just where I am at in my life where I have more than enough stuff already cluttering my life.
I think there is a way to give gifts that bears nothing to the routine that we have placed ourselves in. I don’t think we should give up on giving presents—even when people seem to have more than enough stuff. I think there are just some different ways to give gifts that we should focus on instead of the routine overload of presents that sometimes happens.
1) Re-gifting. We are good friends with another family and have attended each other children’s birthday parties. The kids exchanged presents, which they enjoyed. But we haven’t bought anything. Instead our kids received re-gifted toys that have sat under-used in our closets. I think my son learns more about giving by picking out one of his favorite hot wheels to give to his friend for his birthday, instead of just picking up a random present at the store. I also don’t feel bad if down the road I end up not keeping the present we received.
Re-gifting can be effective for adults as well. I often own things that are surplus for me, but might be appreciated by someone else. I’ve enjoyed furniture received from aunts and parents during times that I’ve moved, or clothing that was not wanted by others but I loved. One story that has stuck with me years after reading it is a couple who gave away a buffet table to a friend who admired it. They still would have used the buffet table, but realized it would be better appreciated by the friend.
2) Those in need or want
Presents meant a lot more when I was in college and unable to afford any luxuries. We all frequently have times in our lives when we only scrape by. During those times, gifts are meaningful as we receive items we wanted but could not afford. I also like to give gifts at times of weddings and baby showers, when people can use a lot of new items.
4) Because we have something to give
I have received presents that I loved. My sister gave me an air plant recently. I was very appreciative of that gift. She understood what I liked, and got me a gift accordingly. I sometimes have great ideas for presents for others as well, and find something that for whatever reason they would love but wouldn’t get for themselves. I’ve also been the recipient of homemade presents like crocheted blankets and scarves. Because I don’t possess the skill necessary to make these presents, they are also very appreciative and wanted. At times, I’ve given landscape designs as gifts to family and friends. I enjoy sharing my talents, and know the gifts are more meaningful than another routine gift-card.
5) Thinking of you
If a birthday or gift-giving opportunity presents itself, sometimes the best gift isn’t another random present but a simple card or other way to let the person know that we are thinking of them. Mailing birthday cards to far away relatives, remembering to tell someone happy birthday or congratulations doesn’t always need to be accompanied by any present, but the thought is still appreciative.
Gift-giving doesn’t have to a be another way that just adds to the amount of often useless junk in our lives. If we are paying attention to the people around us, we can start giving gifts that are more meaningful and wanted. Gifts shouldn’t be something that we just do because we are supposed to, but a way to help others, share our talents, or just let people know we are thinking of them.
A Store
In the downstairs family room, I’ve set up a school room where I do preschool with my two boys, along with a co-op group once a week. I love doing preschool activities. When I was considering signing my older son up for a formal preschool, I decided not to in large part because I love doing preschool with him.
Last week, I set up a store for the kids to play in. I think I liked creating it as much as they liked playing in it. (They did like to play in it too.) It wasn’t anything fancy, just some dollar store items and quickly made signs.
We like having our school room downstairs and we play in there at least every morning. I rotate out the toys and activities that are available there. The kids usually pick what they want to do. My oldest loves worksheets, and the toddler loves play-dough. I love being able to pretend I’m a kid again too and enjoy the slipperiness of slime or re-learning about the parts of a plant.
Happy Birthday
PB had a birthday. He had been looking forward to it for months. The night before, Joe and I wrapped presents and put up balloons. It felt a lot like Christmas, and PB’s excitement had worn off on me too.
PB opened a present first thing and continued to open presents throughout the day.
We measure our kids on their birthday’s and mark it on our the wall.
This kid has grown! I have a hard time keeping him in pants that fit. (Mr. C wanted to get measured too.)
Opening more presents…I’ve never wanted to have extravagant birthday’s or Christmas, just a few presents. But it is too easy to keep finding fun toys or other things that I know PB will love. He usually ends up with a couple more presents than planned, although still not a huge amount. He had a present each from his parents and brother, and one extra. Plus some from friends and grandparents.
This drum was from Grandma. It’s loud, so we have to put a limit on when he can play it. Like not when Mommy is trying to sleeping because it will wake her up.
He blew out his candle way before the song ended. We had a lot of fun celebrating with friends and family.
The Word of Christ
In my scripture study I came across this scripture:
Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do. 2 Nephi 32:3
I have a firm desire to study the words of Christ more. Although I do study the scriptures daily, I often bring in a lot of other material based around scripture, but that isn’t really the words of Christ. I also enjoyed this talk:
As I was pondering this scripture and talk this morning, I was drawn to the Sermon on the Mount, found in Matthew chapters five through seven. I have made a new goal to myself to read it everyday until the end of the year, so that I can more fully feast upon the words of Christ and follow His example.
Pizza Week
I usually let PB pick our theme for the week for school. Last week, I gave him a bunch of ideas and he picked Pizza. It was a great way for him to work on fractions. We used these worksheets, and make three different types of pretend pizzas, as long as the real thing for dinner one time. We also read Pete’s a Pizza
I made this first pizza craft with contact paper and foam. First I cut out a large blog of red and another blog of white for the sauce and cheese. I taped a round piece of contact paper sticky side up on top. All of us cut out ingredients to the pizza out of craft foam. The cool think about craft foam on contact paper is that it comes off and re-sticks, so we made several different pizzas. PB’s favorite ingredient was the yellow pepperoni he made. When C was playing with it, I also had him tell me the colors when he put up the ingredients. He is finally doing pretty good on his colors too.
For this craft, on the first day I made salt dough. C just played with the dough and kept putting it in his mouth. PB made a couple of pizza crusts and so did I. We let them dry for a couple of days, and then painted them with red paint for the sauce and sprinkled white glitter on for the cheese.
I had previously made most of these felt shapes for pretend tacos. I added a larger blog of white and red for the sauce, and we had pizzas instead.
General Conference
General Conference is always great. I felt inspired to live more like Christ. I also felt that my best efforts should go to my family…which helps when I think of all the projects I’d like to do that I don’t ever get to, or do super slowly, or the garden design business that fails to bring in business.
But I have to admit that my attention was at times drawn elsewhere. I missed entire talks sleeping or getting distracted and only took four lines of notes. My excuse is a lovely sinus infection in my left cheek. I’m a horrible complainer when I’m in pain too. My husband pointed out that I tend to harp on other people when they complain, but then freely do it myself. I’m hypocritical when it comes to pain. There’s a new resolution in the making: don’t complain myself, and then be sympathetic to the pain of others.
Liz Braithwaite 