I’ve been thinking a lot lately of not being overly critical of myself, and also not comparing myself to others. Rather, I want to respect where I am at life and simply be trying my best.

Here’s my yoga practice. I’ve been practicing for years, but still find I’m not overly flexible, I can’t do many poses that I would like to, and I am nowhere close to the level of many other yogis. Lately instead of being frustrated by this, I am happy with where I am at. I happy that I can get out my mat nearly everyday and practice, that my body is getting stronger and more flexible even if it takes far long than I anticipated. I love to feel my body work within the confines of its own imperfection.

Oh, and if you didn’t notice, my kids often take over my practice and create opportunities for cuddles, horsey rides and more. I welcome this, because even if it makes my practice a little more slow, it means I am sharing it with others.

We are all at different levels. Too often I look at the people above me in envy and look at myself in criticism. I don’t want to anymore. I am strong and powerful, just where I am at. I don’t need to be better or comparable to anyone. All I need to do is to keep going on my own path.

My goal at the beginning of the day was to live so I didn’t feel stressed. A lot of that was ignoring the clock and not criticizing myself. I also stayed on task better but also didn’t try to just rush through things and try to fit too much in.

One of my chores today was weeding. I’m a non traditional weeder. I only get rid of some of the weeds. And I eat the other ones. Seriously. Here’s how to eat weeds.

1. Collect dandelion greens and some leftover beet greens.
2. Saute with olive oil and mushrooms
3. Add some ham and put on the bottom of a casserole dish
4. Pour in 6-8 beaten eggs (from our own chickens) mixed with salt and pepper
5. Top with cheese and bake at 400 for 30 minutes

We went to the park for a picnic and stopped by a restaurant for ice cream cones. It was  bit cold and rainy, but fun nonetheless. Later I let the kids play with oobleck. I don’t think Henry has ever played with it before and he loved it.

Tonight was Peter’s first piano recital. He was bright red, but played really well.

After getting ready, I attempted to do too many things all at the same time. It seemed like a good idea at the time: I could do the budget and other things on the computer and just take breaks when the kids need something from me and also to clean up and get my chores done. But in reality it just made everything take about twice as long as it needed to and left me feeling quite a bit stressed.

I had a decent break at story time at the library. We left with these quite hefty non fiction books. While we were there, Peter asked me where the airplane and car books were. I made him go ask the reference librarian. He was quite shy about it, but did it, and she of course knew right where they were and had a few words of advice for him.

I try to meditate every day, but it usually turns into a tiny nap. I love tiny naps. I nearly finished my landscape design later in the day while the older kids played outside. Joe got off work early so I was able to get a much needed haircut. In the evening after dinner, we went on a walk around the temple. It is a very frequent walk we take and the kids love it.

Mid way through the day I thought about what I would do if I had a lot of free time. But I do have a lot of free time. Daily chores and obligations do not take up all of my day. Sometimes I feel busy, but that is by choice not obligation. My time is mine to spend as I want. Generally my only limitation is involving the children in what I do.

Today in my free time, that I enjoy in abundance, I started to organize some books. I played with my children. I planned for an upcoming vacation. I took a nap. I continued to work on a landscape design for a client. I finished reading a book, and I put together a new necklace. Towards the end of the day, the only thing I thought was missing was other people, so I went and visited a friend.

Peter perfecting a block tower with his free time

This kid loves to read. Chapter books now! I found an Encyclopedia Brown and he loves it. 

I filled my free time with purposeful activities that I enjoyed. I’ve been caught up so much in what I think I have to be doing that I often forget to enjoy the free time I have and do things that I want to do.

My laptop came today too. I’ve been sharing a desktop with the rest of my family, and it wasn’t very flexible. I haven’t actually had a laptop for about eight years. I’m not sure why it took me so long to get one. I think I thought it would cost too much, but it wasn’t hard to find a good deal. (I ended up getting a Lenovo Yoga 11e, cost right around $300, and so far I’m very happy with it. The only thing I’ve done with it is install Microsoft office and write a blog post though.)

The easiest way to dye eggs is just put food coloring on paper towels and start rolling. It was so quick and easy that I was a bit disappointed at how quick we dyed all our eggs.

We went on Easter egg hunts. Three. One to Joe’s work, one at our own house, and one at Grandma’s.

There were tears shed, smiles found and candy. I enjoy small toys and confetti in the eggs rather than just candy.

Soccer, music time for the little kids, and regular play rounded out our days.

I was able to spend some needed time in worship. Friday night I went to a temple session, and Saturday was the General Women’s Session at church. Visiting at the Easter egg hunt and after the conference session helped me overcome my isolation that I had been feeling.

The temple session and conference helped me see where I could add service back into my life. In the past I’ve been praying for inspiration and opportunities to serve, and I would add the inspiration I felt to my to-do list and made sure I followed through. I stopped because I was discouraged over several events that happened. I want to go back to doing it. God know who I can help and what I need to do in my life, and I am happier when I follow him.

My husband was gone down south for work until after I went to sleep. I didn’t have a lot to do. The combination, along with my pretty raw emotional state made the day rather rough. I managed to get a few chores done. Mostly I was glad when the day was over.

I’m in my sister’s blog. Much more interesting.

Since we are remodeling H’s room, H has moved temporarily into C’s room. Henry is giggling, and Curtis is seeking “Everything is Awesome” as loud as he can. I might just go join them for a second….Well I might be too much of a mom. I did join in for a line or two but then I told them to go to sleep.

It was busy. It was Wednesday which means I had poop duty. (I cleaned out the chicken coop and guinea pig pen.) The kids and I went on a walk. A mile and half in 23 minutes . Not that fast, I was listening to a book. That I finished. (Stars Above by Marissa Meyer, in case you wanted to know. I liked it.)

Back home for a great shower. Played with the kids. They have been into Easter egg hunts after I bought them plastic Easter eggs last night. Than more chores and started some soup. We had story-time today, where I didn’t pay attention and recorded a few memories of my childhood for a book I’m writing with my sister.

Home for lunch and nap-time. The kids were involved in Easter eggs or library book for the rest of the afternoon. I was able to window shop for a new computer online. (Can you window shop online? And if so, is it still called window shopping?) I looked up some setting on my new camera. And I realized that my lens filter didn’t fit so I returned it (on Amazon), and they said they would refund me but just to keep the product, and I realized it did in reality fit. So right now I have a free lens filter and just a bit of guilt.

I made this mock up of a landscape design. It’s a work in progress, didn’t spend that much time on it.

And I used my new camera to retake some pictures of my planner. Hopefully I’ll get the planner online and published soon!

I baked bread, which was delicious.

More playing with kids and cleaning up for the rest of the evening. I almost felt like I was finishing a marathon right when I was trying to get the kids to bed. I did finish and now I’m chilling before attempting to make to bed on time. I rarely do, but when you set your bedtime at 9:30, I do actually get to bed right around 10:00 almost every night.

Sometimes I make a really horrible stay at home mom. Like today. I didn’t have much to do. I finished up a book I was reading. The laundry still got done, the kids were fed, I cleaned the bathrooms, and played cars on the carpet and made sure the kids did schoolwork. On the surface it was good.

But underneath there was a lot of negative self talk I couldn’t escape from. Finally when my husband came home, I left. I spent some time with myself. I realized I was valuable. I wasn’t worthless and bad at everything. I have interests outside of being Mom. And it’s important for me to develop those interests.

I came back after a few hours with Easter baskets for the kids and much happier outlook on life.

Going backwards, I finished Miss Peregrine’s home for Peculiar Children. The vintage pictures were fun in it. Otherwise read like a standard young adult fantasy novel. I didn’t realize it was the first in a trilogy though, which made the ending a letdown.