Summer is an awesome busy time.

We went to the aviary, and the kids got to actively participate.

The kids have been doing summer camps: Clear Creek, Space Center for Curtis, FSY, basketball for Peter, and a drama/swim camp for Henry.

Joe went with Peter to boy’s camp.

We’ve also been to the Natural History Museum, BYU museums, and parks, watched a parade, and swam at the pool.

We spent last Saturday with my sister’s family at the pond, where we canoed, biked/scootered, and did other mischiefs like losing kids, tangling fishing lines, and finding dried-up waterfalls. I took one picture at the very beginning and then forgot to take any more. Such is life.

There’s also been a ton of work in the yard. We’ve been putting in sod, building a nature play area, and finishing the deck.

Amidst all the busyness it’s nice to remember that what gets done doesn’t necessarily matter as much as having a life that reflects my values. I’ve been thinking about my life and what is important. I have a lifetime to develop a career, to pursue my own interests. But right now I only have a few years to raise my children. So that’s where I spend my time and energy.

Right before summer break, Joe took the kids for a day, and I spent the day working. It was a good experience. I realized that working 8+ hours is way easier than caring for children. Joe had a hard time, but the children did enjoy the extra time with Dad. He took them to the jump park.

Now we are at the start of summer break. So far, I’m enjoying it. It’s not perfect, but I like having all the children around. I have great kids and they are fun to do things with. The weather has been beautiful and we’ve been spending a lot of time outside. There’s time working in the yard, swimming in the pool, and going on walks.

We went on a hike to Vista Ridge, and the trail was full of wildflowers and ended up being a great length for our family.

The next day, I went with a couple of my kids, mom, and sister and walked to a poppy field.

We also had Day Camp that I attended with the boys from my church.

How’s my life going? I am surviving, but also feeling the effects of too much to do for a very long time. Right now, we are trying to get landscaping and construction done, care for five children some of which are very small, and my garden design business has clients and designs to get done.

So there are moments when I just show up. I went to preschool graduation and took one, insignificant photo. Other people posted a heard of lovely pictures on social media. But you know, I was there, supporting my child, and that’s what counts.

When all of my kids and great-grandpa have the stomach flu, there’s a lot of cleaning and laundry to do. And not much time for sleep. I feel like I’m giving more than I have, and often the cost does not seem worth the reward. But many good things we do have little to no reward. I recently read this scripture in John 14: “But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind,and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” Sometimes good things are only rewarded in eternity.

I keep trying. In a yoga video, there was a version of this quote by Mark Manson:

The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

I’m striving to accept my crazy life, which is never quite as successful or easy as I would like, but still has enough joy and wonder to keep me going. Naps and flowers, and time to be creative help me be okay.

I try to go through pictures about once a week. And lately, I’ve only taken pictures of gardens. But not even my own garden, I’m taking pictures of other people’s gardens that turn into garden designs. It’s busy season for work.

And really, for parenting as well. My children have track, soccer, piano lessons, basketball, and homework projects. We started a fishing club, where this lone, blurry picture comes from. I think this is Curtis’s first fish he caught by himself. Not a bad catch. I think I might buy a fishing license and start casting a line in myself.

Much of our spring break was spent looking at snow. We had a lot of fun, even if the weather wasn’t spring-like. We went up to the Hill Aerospace Museum, visited an arcade, and went swimming. We took days for a little trip and visited a bunch of my siblings and Dinosaur National Monument. Then we had a wonderful time celebrating Easter.

It’s amazing how big my kids are getting. The picture is wrong though: I’m still taller than all of them, but just barely.

Well, our kitchen is close to done. And that means more time to work outside. But it’s snowing. This combination of events has resulted in a much-needed break for me. I think I’m getting to the point where I would rather be working than sitting though.

Peter keeps playing basketball. He finished a season, started another league, and just signed up for club ball. I asked him if he wanted to keep playing in another league, and he said something like, “You don’t need to ask me. If it’s basketball, the answer is always yes.”

Curtis had a birthday, and they went to the space center with his cousins for a party. They enjoyed themselves, although next time positions need to be changed.

The yard is dirt, but never discount the play value of dirt. And a bonus picture of Evie clapping with all her new teeth.

Life is kicking my butt sometimes. Although reflecting back on life, there hasn’t been a time when life wasn’t hard. The few times when life was boring I remember…well I would pick hard over boring any day.

Five kids: mostly happy. Peter got first and second in shot put and high jump at his track meet. Curtis participated in knowledge bowl and probably scored the most points on his team. Evie is recovering from an ear infection and starting to happily sleep better.

Me: Rediscovering the emotional roller coaster of female emotions as they are returning to normal after childbirth and nursing. Sometimes I feel really sheepish when I discover that the reason I yelled at my kids for little reason and then cried for an hour was basically just PMS. Sigh.

I did actually get some income from my business. It’s the first time this year, but it’s a start. Right now, though, I have far more ambition than time for work.

Spring is nice. Although I love to get outside more, I also always feel a little frantic keeping up with everything I want to do in the garden.

This video took me probably a year from when I thought about making it to actually finish it. Video production is quite an undertaking, and I’m not any good at it, but I’m still glad I did it.

Creative work is often a process: you have to make stuff that isn’t that great to eventually make stuff that is a lot better. I think it’s worth sharing the not great stuff, because even if it’s not polished, there are still things worth sharing that others can benefit from. And the feedback helps you become better.

It’s snowing outside, and I don’t want snow. I want warm weather, crocus, and pruning.

For what I thought was our last hoorah for winter, we went sledding up at Tibble Fork. I broke out the snowshoes and went on a little walk with Zack too.

We later went up to Battle Creek and weren’t quite prepared for all the icy snow. I did tell my children to wear good shoes with traction, but that doesn’t mean they actually listened well.

We are also working hard on the kitchen. This is what my husband has been doing with all his free time. We’ve got the cupboards in and are now working on countertops. It’s been pretty satisfying to do all the work ourselves, but a bit overwhelming too.