Being Mommy

April 10, 2015Leave a comment

I often feel tangled about in my weaknesses as a mommy: thoughts run through my head. I can’t do this anymore. Why did I do it again? Well this every go completely away? Where did I go wrong?

The desire to no longer have my weaknesses has sometimes consumed me. I know the atonement can, and has, changed me…why do I still struggle with this?? Recently I read this article and realized: the Lord will take away my sins, but not always take away my weaknesses.

So the answer I have is to keep going, keep trying. I can do it again, and my struggles, although they do not go away completely, are improving and becoming lessened.

Jesus Christ said to forgive 70 times 7, and that includes myself. His atonement is infinite and eternal. He expects me to keep going, to rely on Him and try my best, not to be perfect. One quote that has stuck with me is “Saints are only sinners who keep trying.” (Mother Teresa)

Little Decisions

April 2, 20151 Comment

It seemed like a small decision at the time. Let’s stop using the dryer vent because it is inefficient. Next, the vent line came down, because it prevented the door from opening fully. And then, while the sheetrock needed repairing anyway, we took off the wall by the stairs to re-figure it out so the space could be used better. And since we tore off the wall, we went ahead and re-construct the stairs so we don’t hit our heads. Since the stairs were moved a bit, there is now room to move a door for a bedroom, which means we can completely re-model the downstairs.

Everything red is what we want to change.

My husband and I can make impromptu decisions together really well. I mention that maybe we should just take down a wall, more wondering than actually thinking of doing it. The next thing I know the wall is down, thanks to my husband in demolition mode. He was a bit hesitant to ask about re-doing the stairs next. It’s never bothered me much, but he has always hated it. I let him go ahead with the stairs so I wouldn’t have to keep hearing about it…but then that got me thinking about remodeling to get the bedrooms that our house sorely lacks. Now the only problem is finding the time and money to do it all. In the meantime we are living with some interesting views of the inside of our house.

Random Holidays

April 1, 2015Leave a comment

Could Pi day count as a holiday? It certainly felt like one. Almost all of my siblings and families got together (which is a big deal because we live in four different states). We ate pie (of course), and swam and played disc golf. I was the female winner of disc golf, mostly because I was the only girl who actually finished. Here’s a good pie recipe in celebration.

Chocolate Pie
1 package chocolate chips

Microwave in increments of 30 seconds until melted
Add
1/4 c powder sugar
1 tb. vanilla
3/4 c whipping cream
Pour in a graham cracker crust and chill for a long time.

St. Patrick’s Day is also so random. It was fun to be able to point out actual shamrocks in our big clover field out back. I did want to do something a bit more exciting than just wearing green and eating Lucky Charms. So the leprechaun came to visit and dropped off some gold candy. Afterwards, Peter made a trap to try to catch him again. It was unsuccessful, but he might try again next year.

I’ve decided on pretend things like Santa Clause, leprechauns and such, that I will allow my child to decided if it is real or not. Peter asked if the leprechaun was real, and I kinda just asked if he wanted it to be or not. He new it wasn’t actually real, but since his pretend and real are not as distinct as an adults, he could play as if it was.

Maze

March 18, 20151 Comment

Peter drew this maze entirely by himself. Joe likes to doodle like this and would draw mazes for Peter all the time to do: He started showing Peter how to do it himself, and then he spent the next two weeks drawing mazes and getting better and better.

Spring Starting

March 13, 2015Leave a comment

Not much has been happening around the home, but that is about to change. Spring is starting, which means the garden is starting up. We also have some massive plans to work in in the inside of the house, so stay tuned.

Planting bulbs is immensely satisfying. It doesn’t take long in the fall, and then by spring when the act of planting them is nearly forgotten, they spring up and remind you of the wonderful world that exists after the snow.

This pea sprout is the first of the garden. I planted them nearly a month ago during a warm spell. They braved a few cold spells and snow storms, and will start what will hopefully be a large and productive garden.

This flower bud appeared on a shrub I had nearly given up on identifying. I had not seen any flowers or fruit or any other noteworthy characteristics on this thing for a year and a half. This year it has identified itself as a flowering quince. Good to know…although they don’t do great in this climate, so it still might be slated for demolition.

Baby

March 10, 2015Leave a comment

I had a hard time the last two times I had babies. My emotions were not always under control, and both PB and C weren’t exactly happy to be babies. I wanted to have another child for lots of reasons, but one of them was so that I could actually enjoy being a mother to a baby, and feel like I was decent at it.

My experience of being a mom to baby H has been nearly everything I wanted. I adore being a mom to him, and I get lot of big baby smiles. I remember in the hopstial when I first had him, I was content to just sit and enjoy him for hours. Although I have to do get things done now, the attitude is still there. I do a lot of attachment parenting–co-sleeping, and baby wearing–because I just like having him around. (It is also because it just makes life easier too.) Our relationship isn’t perfect (like the one night he about killed me and wouldn’t calm down and go to sleep all the way until midnight), but it is pretty good. And I’m very grateful for it.

Birthday

March 6, 2015Leave a comment

birthday
Guess what?

cheeser
I turned three!

no way
No way!

We all love our Curtis. He’s pretty relaxed unless he’s tired. He still doesn’t quite get birthdays. I was trying to tell him all day that he was three and not two…he would would respond, “No I two and one.”
presents

scoot

We went down to the children’s museum to celebrate:

Painting

February 20, 20152 Comments

I do not love painting. It took us over a year inside our home before we bothered to paint anything. The first thing I did paint was the dining room. Observe:

It was a pretty neutral tan. Not bad, except it was a different tan the the entire rest of the house. I’m not a big fan of brown anyway. Luckily, most of the house is painted in a peachy-tan color that I like. But I felt like the brown tan in the dining room clashed with everything.

So we painted it dark blue instead. Much better. I love it. The dark color helps make a long open room feel more intimate. And it’s not brown and it doesn’t clash with everything.

Pictures from my Kids

February 20, 20151 Comment

I love giving my kids the camera. They take fun pictures.

cry

Quotable quotes from the kids:

Peter: “Throw a tomato.” He says it all the time. For no reason.

Curtis: “I can not.” It’s adorable. Even though it means he is usually refusing to do what I ask.

You Don’t Hate Anything

February 10, 2015Leave a comment

When I was in an eight grade art class, I remember a conversation I had with some of my friends. Our teacher was absent at the time, and many of my friends were discussing the various faults of the missing teacher. I countered and said I didn’t mind her. My friend answered, in almost a derogatory way, “Well you don’t hate anything.” I didn’t quite know what to think then. The comment has stuck with me for twelve years and I’ve thought about it during that time. I now consider it one of the best compliments I have ever received.

Lately it is a philosophy I am striving to live by. During the past year, I have become engaged in the world of permaculture and self-sufficiency. I love the goals and ethics of the movements, but I never agree with everything that is said and written. I simply ignore the negative motions against practices, companies and people. There is a lot of bashing in the world from people convinced that other corporations and practices are evil and worth fighting against. I believe that there is only one thing worth fighting against, one main evil and that is the devil, Satan or whatever word you choose to use. There is real evil out there: people knowingly hurting others and committing crimes. That is worth fighting against.

But there is a lot of fighting against things that are not purely evil like oil corporations, pesticide companies, and non-organic practices. I’m not lending my voice. I’m not going to start hating people who are trying to live the best they can even if it doesn’t match my ideals. I not going to hate practices and companies that aren’t perfect and might be flawed but still aren’t blatantly bad.

Instead I choose to focus on positive solutions, on better ways to do things, of striving to just get a little better. Instead of despising pesticides, I find ways to garden where I don’t feel like I need them. Instead of trying to close down businesses, I try to support good companies and causes I care about. I view things on a spectrum: there are certainly better ways of doing things, but just because something isn’t the best doesn’t make it bad.

Hating and fighting against things that aren’t evil but simply not the best isn’t worth any effort. Instead I choose to live the best I can at this moment and to support the best I can find.

Liz Braithwaite

Author: Liz Braithwaite