I have wild boys. At times they wrestle each other too harshly, they hurt each other when they don’t get their way, model reverence is a distant goal, words they aren’t supposed to say are often used, and bedtime can push both parents to a near breaking point.

I’ve thought a lot, I’ve read a lot a lot of discipline. I have tried new tactics occasionally, regressed to old and less than wonderful tactics like yelling. More than anything though, one experience and phrase has stuck with me to guide my efforts.

I was praying to God, asking for help with my children. And I felt this overwhelming love from Him, as I often do when I reach out toward Him. Every time I have asked for help, testimony, or anything else the answer comes at first as a feeling of love. This time as I was basking in His love, I thought the phrase, “Overwhelm them with love.”

“Overwhelm them with love” was my answer for all the discipline with my children. Too often in the past I have turned to anger instead of love and gotten nowhere. But turning to love instead always works.

So today, when my two children decided to engage in a loud physical fight right in the middle of church, I took them out into a room by ourselves. I told them firmly that they were in trouble and that was not acceptable behavior. My oldest was very upset about getting into trouble and cried and complained loudly for a while. I let him. And then when he started to calm himself down, I went up and put my arm around him and told him I love him, and listened to him.

My child needed to be told what he was doing wasn’t acceptable. But he also need someone to listen to him and know that he was loved no matter what. He needed someone to patiently and calmly help him through his emotions so he would be able act more appropriately.

Love accomplishes more than any other act of discipline. It isn’t my first train of thought when the kids are acting up to overwhelm them with love. But it is always the best course of action.