Yesterday, I was in the check-out line at the grocery store. The lady a couple people behind me had an older toddler that was screaming. When I put my groceries in the car, she was actually parked next to me and came out, still with a screaming toddler in tow. We had a short conversation.

Mom of toddler: “I’m sorry about him.”

Me: “My kids do it to. It’s hard.” (And in fact the only reason they were currently behaving is they were given candy.)

The whole experience got me thinking. I have been on the other side with a kid who is making this gigantic scene while I am surrounded by strangers. I have tried to be the best mom I can be and sometimes all the kids do is complain and throw ginormous fits in the worst possible places, or not listen and call me names. It’s embarrassing, disappointing, and even thinking about it now makes me want to cry. For me, children have brought out a new intensity of anger, frustration and sadness than I even dealt with as a teenager. Sometimes, being a mom just sucks.

And I realized that it’s normal. No one thinks you are a bad mom (and if they do they aren’t right). Being a mom is super hard and there often isn’t anything different you can do that you aren’t already doing. Children are just sometimes a pain, because they haven’t grown up. Yet we have to develop expectations and limits because we do love them. And that can lead to demoralizing situations, as our kids call us poopy yet again, fail to listen, or scream for almost an hour.

I drove home. Mr. C had been whining all day. He continued. But I was able to deal with it because I had realized that it wasn’t my fault, and it is just hard sometimes to raise children.

Sometimes moms don’t need advice on how to deal with kids, but simply a reminder that kids are hard to deal with. And we love them anyway. It is super awesome to see a person grow up, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. The good sweet moments do come along with the hard ones.

Anyway, I am grateful to that mom with a screaming toddler. She helped me be more able to deal with my own rambunctious kids, and remember why I am doing what I’m doing.